meEeChaH

bakit ba baby si micha???

tumatanda yata ako ng paurong…

when i tried to look back in my highschool years… i realized that i was never a baby, THEN… pero bakit ngayong college nako masyado yata akong childish… or is it because i was the most matured among "the babies" kaya hindi ko naisip or nafeel man lang na baby ako until i was in college… sa bagay, these people are allowed to do things i am most prohibited of doing… kakainggit…

siguro it’s not really in the way i see myself but in the way i project myself to them… do i need a new hairstyle? a less laughing attitude? a more serious look? a less childish way of talking? what makes me a baby in the eyes of other people? hindi ko talaga mafigure-out…

it’s true!! "it’s not a bad thing neither is it a very very good thing"… but my point is i want to overcome it soon… sana i could grow up faster than i could… the thought of being "baby in everybody else’s eyes" scares me the most!! ewan ko… gusto ko kasing parati lang akong masaya kasi i feel burdened when i am not my "bouncy" self. im scared that i might not be able to have the chance to prove myself capable of doing things… kasi iisipin nila im childish… therefore, i won’t be entrusted with responsibilities… sabihin na nating i should learn by having an initiative to exert my own effort na lang pero iba kasi ung may hawak kang responsibility because you feel the gladness and pressures of ownership and the sweet fulfillments of these responsibilities. iniisip ko rin, if "ill be a baby" i might never have the opportunity to grow up and grow over "it"… hay… that’s probably the biggest challenge ill have to face in my whole growing up years. sana dumating na agad ung time when people will see that MICHA IS A BABY NO MORE!!! it’s not offensive but it hurts. .bad.

just pulled this survey off archie’s page… try natin!!

1. Song playing at the moment? >>> color of love -south border, dko sur ung title

2. One reason for living? >>> two na lang…dreams & death

3. Do u think you’re ok? >>> never better, I think so, as of now.

4. Ever donated blood? >>> yes!! Sept. 29, CBA 4^th fflr. Back lobby!! First time!!

5. Fav color(s)? >>> pomelo pink, mix of rainbow colors, bright blue

6. Accessories you usually wear? >>> bracelet, watch, earrings, belt, hair accessories

7. One song to describe a heartbreak in the past? >>> never really had a heartbreak coz im still waiting for that someone who will break it. Cguro ano na lang… wherever you are-southborder

8. Last place you went to? >>> it’s Sunday today so I went to church

9. Last person u went out with? >>> family

10. The most exciting sport? >>> basketball

11. Ever had a baby? >>> a baby brother? A baby sister? A baby neighbor? A baby friend? A baby cousin? …yes. A baby. A baby? no way, not now!!!

12. Movie u want 2 watch? >>> a beautiful boxer

13. Any piercings? >>> ear piercing

14.The most romantic gift? >>> a collage of my photos that ive never seen before or a collection of the things ive taken for granted but actually meant a lot for that person. Basta something that would make me realize how special I am for that person/s, that he/she/they were thinking of me.

15. Act on stage before? >>> yup!! Spoofed my math teacher, did the role of a general in Noli Me Tangere, played Oliver Twist, Challenge Night. I want to act on stage, I may not be the best but I love doing it and being there.

16. Struck by lightning before? >>> anong tanong yan?!! do you think I would still be alive? Burn.

17. Danced with your loved one before? >>> nah, cguro once nung tinuturuan ako ni papa mag-cha-cha… or nung baby pa ako… ay hindi!! Oo pala, pwede n rin ung iniisip ko.

18. Ever wished you could turn back time? to when? >>> definitely… I spend my lonely hours dwelling in the past. When? Cguro on the day I spilled my own beans.

19. What would you do if you woke up one day to find yourself to be someone from the opposite sex? >>> Scream!! Stare!! Worry then go out to the world and explore life in the mindset of a boy. Court a girl. Pee in the MMDA urinal. Play basketball the way it should be played. Take my shirt off. Stay super late at night or even have an overnight stay with my friends. Have a boys night out. Have a photo shoot in my girly clothes and look like a gay person.

20. One song that’s meaningful to you? >>> WEAK. I think there’s a song that’s a lot better than that kaso dko lang maalala.

21. Last person you met for the first time? >>> that stranger who just walked passed me.

22. What will you be doing tomorrow? >>> school.

23. Ever thought of robbing a bank? >>> sure!! Who wouldn’t?!

24. One thing you totally regret doing/done? >>> spoiling my own secret.

25. Do people like you? >>> they say I’m a nice person.

26. What was the last game you played on the computer? >>> Counterstrike or Noxx or SIMS… can’t remember.

27. Someone who means a lot to you at the moment? >>> someone.

28. The color of your mobile phone? >>> grey/silver

29. Do you hate someone at the moment? >>> yeah, everyone does. I hate the cats that mess with our garbage. I hate the one who makes me go crazy. I hate the one whom everyone else hates. I have my own dislikes, but I don’t take grudge against other people.

30. What do you wish to happen now? >>> get things done and have them just the way I like them to be.

Why is everyone having a break-up??!! I think I agree with them, this semester is so WRONG. May sumpa ba ang sem na to… or is it just the bad karma of a very wonderful first semester… last sem was the best part of my whole college life!! True, it’s not perfect but everything in that semester seemed to fall in the right places…

1)     Last sem I met very interesting people and this sem, most of them will be graduating… tears… mamimiss ko si kuya jayjay, roma, jik, nhey, carlo, toni!! One semester is simply not enough to spend with these excellent people!!

2)     Last sem things I wasn’t looking for just knocked on my door and this sem, it flew away faster than it had came, leaving me right there by my doorstep waiting for the wind to blow it back.

3)     Last sem, I was very confident and pleased with myself, but after that, here I am… lost? insecure? feeling inadequate? Ewan…

4)     Last sem, I gave my brightest smile to the world as though each day just kept getting better… I was looking at my first sem pictures and I said to myself, girl “maganda k pala”?!! this sem, a smile is just a smile. My ordinary smile. My ordinary way of looking positive.

5)     Last sem the sky was painted in bright rainbow colors, one color a day, a different shade, a different hue but this sem parang it’s just one color slowly fading as the moonlight starts to shine. Exciting kasi iba-iba araw-araw pero malungkot kasi at the end of the day I would look back on the day that was.

6)     Last sem had a perfect start, this sem it’s a clean slate but it had the marks of yesterday’s page.

7)     Last sem my friend and her boy friend, we’re getting along pretty well, but this sem… “we can’t see each other anymore.” Ha?? Anong nangyari… can’t grow up with a “kid” you thought you’ve fallen in love with anymore?

     Late last sem, KC and her boyfriend were great together, ngayon iniwan lng namin si KC for 2 hours, wala na agad sila!! Last sem jonz had her series of break-ups this sem I think it’s for good. Ano ba yan, ate??!! i want to feel your pain but mine’s a different story…at least sa inyo you know what to feel… ako I don’t even know what I had, what I want, and what I have. Hope you get over it, find your direction and get there, be stronger, and move on……

9)     Last sem, I could not differentiate mornings from evenings… parang tuluy-tuloy lang.. ngayon a day has its ending?

10) Last sem, pumayat ako… this sem joke time na naman ako sa bahay kasi taba-taba ko daw, takaw-takaw ko pa daw… mag-exercise daw ako, wag daw akong kain nang kain.. eh sige na nga… magbacbacan ulit tayo para pumayat ulit ako…hehe…

Why can’t you just have so much of the good stuff??!! But what’s totally good about this sem is that it was a learning experience. It gave me lessons that I would reflect on everyday… it made me realize a lot about myself or it made me want to realize more… ngghhh…

Hey!! this is going to be my first blog post ever. excited ako… haha!!! ;D it may seem quite late for me to ever have a post but hehe, there’s no harm in trying anyway. from the very beginning i don’t really like the idea of havng a blog but after a year of contesting with my friends and siblings i finally realized that maybe… yes, a blog could be a venue for my unraveled thoughts. it won’t be a place for my secrets nor would it document my daily activities but it would be some place where i can share a part of my random thoughts. <tama dba?!> akala ko dati a blog would be like a diary… pero hindi pwede un eh… online diary??! i would be killing myself with my own hands!!

next time na lang ulit… im just excited to try this one out and type some words… nyak!! parang bata!! hehe… see ya!! (corene!! isay!! magbblog nko!! magbasa kayo ah…) ;D

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